The Terrapin Times

Friday, November 18, 2005

Pictures Make it Easier

The Diamondback on Thursday published a glowing article on university president Clayton D. Mote, Jr, extolling his financial virtues by explaining that he won't approve upgrades to the administration building (how humble) so he can build labs and such, and by informing readers that he drives a 1998 model vehicle.

The fact that the kind of car Mote drives is superfluous seems to have slipped Diamondback editors' minds. It doesn't matter if he drives a 1988 Yugo; he still rakes in more than $350,000 every year.

Reporter Laurie Au, however, felt that it was necessary to let us know that Mote drives a 1998 Ford "Crown Royal."

Now there's three explanations for this report:

1) Ford released a 1-car model "Crown Royal" in 1998 and Mote got his hands on it. But this would invalidate the reasoning behind the information, because it's logical to assume that a 1-car model would have cost Mote a lot of money.

2) Mote moonlights as Kurt Busch. This is highly possible, as shown in the picture below. With a little bit of old-man makeup, it could work:

But that would mean he drives this around campus:

And since no one has ever seen that car on campus, it's probably a safe bet to assume that:

3) Au got it wrong, and her editors missed it, and Mote drives a 1998 Ford Crown Victoria, much like this one:

And for reference, if Mote drove a 1988 Yugo, it would look something like this:


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