The Terrapin Times

Monday, February 27, 2006

UMD Ranks Third in 'Black History Month Abuse'

A report from the conservative Young America's Foundation ranked the University of Maryland third-worst among college campus celebrations of Black History Month.

"[L]eading colleges and universities have used and abused Black History Month to lash out angrily against white people, spread socialist ideas, and honor the Black Panthers," the group said in a press release. "Missing from many Black History Month activities were positive discussions about the accomplishments that blacks have made in business, education, government, and science."

UMD earned its third place ranking for its "Protest and Revolution in the Black Community" program entitled "Where Do We Go From Here?" The event featured one half of the rap duo Dead Prez, a young man who calls himself M-1.

M-1, according to YAF, "refers to America as 'Amerikkka' and believes in a 'conscious world wide struggle with decisive victory won in the area of defeating capitalism and imperialism which is our main enemy.'"

The obvious irony is that M-1, who also apparently goes by the name Mutulu Olugbala (his given name is reportedly Lavon Alfred), sells his albums for profit, which as we all know is an important aspect of the devil capitalism. And we seriously doubt M-1 attended the event out of the goodness of his heart, if you know what we mean.

Good thing leftists can't be hypocrits. Otherwise, M-1 would be a great candidate.

And not to open old wounds, but you'll recall that the school paid an undisclosed amount of money to bring cop-killer Mumia Abu-Jamal's supporters The Roots to campus. If you guessed that M-1 is a supporter of the Family and Friends of Mumia Abu-Jamal, you'd be right!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Selective Praise ...

On its home page, the University of Maryland touts its recent ranking in Kiplinger's rankings of the "best values" of colleges nationwide. The university ranked 18th, a jump from 36th in 2003 and a generally respectable ranking.

But what the UMD blurb forgets is where it placed among the five other universities somehow designated as its "peer institutions."

For those who aren't aware, those peer institutions are: University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champagn, University of California at Berkeley, University of California at Los Angeles, and the University of Michigan.

Those schools ranked 1st, 8th, 12th, 14th, and 16th, respectively.

So among those schools against which the University of Maryland judges its success, the Terrapins come in a whopping last place in overall value.

In other news, the sky is blue.

Monday, December 19, 2005


In a press release issued December 12, the University of Maryland -- a publicly funded institution -- mention the forbidden "c-word," a noun too vulgar to be reprinted on this page.

The release states that, "More than 2,500 University of Maryland students will get one of their best holiday gifts shortly before C******** - their college diploma or advanced degrees."

No word yet one whether or not the ACLU plans on suing the university for its explicit promotion of religion. Also no word on whether or not the irony police will complain that the university sends us a steep bill for the "gift" it will bestow upon us.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Clayon D. Mote's Ambiguous Holiday Wishes

In his holiday e-mail to students, conveniently timed about 10 days before Christmas, university president Clayton D. Mote takes the time to wish students a "happy holiday." How nice of him.

He also directs students to the university's online greeting (, a flash animation that lists the wonders of the University of Maryland and finishes in a blaze of glory with a screen with this message: May this season of hopes and dreams inspire you. Cheer the Turtle.

Inspire me to what? Go on a murderous rampage?

I don't know about you, but I'm particularly suspicious of the holly and berries at the corners of the animation screen. Seems a little Christmassy to me.

And in the e-mail, he mentions that this is a time "when we gather with family and friends to relax, take stock, and count our blessings."

Blessings from whom? Certainly he can't be talking about some sort of omnipotent being!

And what about students who have no family to go home to? Surely this reminder that they have no family and friends is painful and offensive.

And isn't it a little class-centric to assume that everyone relaxes on their "Winter Break?" Maybe Dr. Mote isn't aware, but some students are poor and have to use their time on break to work hard jobs to earn money to pay for school.

This insensitive e-mail should never have been sent. Students should be outraged.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Pictures Make it Easier

The Diamondback on Thursday published a glowing article on university president Clayton D. Mote, Jr, extolling his financial virtues by explaining that he won't approve upgrades to the administration building (how humble) so he can build labs and such, and by informing readers that he drives a 1998 model vehicle.

The fact that the kind of car Mote drives is superfluous seems to have slipped Diamondback editors' minds. It doesn't matter if he drives a 1988 Yugo; he still rakes in more than $350,000 every year.

Reporter Laurie Au, however, felt that it was necessary to let us know that Mote drives a 1998 Ford "Crown Royal."

Now there's three explanations for this report:

1) Ford released a 1-car model "Crown Royal" in 1998 and Mote got his hands on it. But this would invalidate the reasoning behind the information, because it's logical to assume that a 1-car model would have cost Mote a lot of money.

2) Mote moonlights as Kurt Busch. This is highly possible, as shown in the picture below. With a little bit of old-man makeup, it could work:

But that would mean he drives this around campus:

And since no one has ever seen that car on campus, it's probably a safe bet to assume that:

3) Au got it wrong, and her editors missed it, and Mote drives a 1998 Ford Crown Victoria, much like this one:

And for reference, if Mote drove a 1988 Yugo, it would look something like this:

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

New Web Site Coming Soon ...

The Terrapin Times is in the process of designing a new, more functional Web site that will debut in the coming weeks.

In the meantime, the old site, at, is still up and running. The launch of the new Web site will have no effect on the blog.

Stay tuned for updates ...

Monday, October 31, 2005

Graber Continues His Anti-Bush Rants ...

In less than one week, government and politics professor Mark Graber has participated in three university press releases centered on the Bush administration. In all three, including the most recent release offering statements on the nomination of Judge Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court, Graber has issued attacks on the Bush administration.

In the release issued this morning, Graber said that Alito's nomination "further demonstrates President George Bush's committment to the right wing of the Republican Party."

He criticized Alito for being "committed to the conservatism of Justices Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia, rather than the conservativsm of Sandra Day O'Connor, Anthony Kennedy and, even William Rehnquist."

He worried that Bush "will have further opportunity to reshape the bench in the image of his most vocal, but not necessarily most numerous, supporters."

It seems that Graber would like to think that Harriet Miers, who withdrew herself from consideration for the Court last week, was a victim of the extreme right wing because she didn't extol the virtues of conservative judicial activism. In fact, Miers withdrew because everyone realized she was unqualified.

Graber also seems to forget that Bush's supporters are in fact vocal and numerous. Bush defeated Kerry in the Electoral College 286-251 and in the popular vote by more than 3,000,000.

A constitutional expert should know that the president is in charge of nominating people to the courts. And technically, he's allowed to choose anyone he wants to nominate. And if the Senate confirms them, he wins.

Of course Judge Alito is extremely qualified, considering his immense experience both as a lawyer and as a judge on the Third Circuit Court of Appeals. The only reason Graber should find him unqualified is that their judicial philosophies differ.

It's called democracy ... when people elect a president and federal representatives, those representatives (in this case senators) are responsible for representing the people. In the last election, the people clearly supported George W. Bush and Republican candidates for the Senate, so it looks like professor Graber can blame his own friends for not convincing America to vote for John Kerry.

And until he can do that, he should consider whining in privacy, where he won't make the university look bad.